How to Defend Yourself Without Being Defensive

  1. 1 Keep calm in the moment.
  2. 2 Wait to respond to the criticism.
  3. 3 Encourage the person to elaborate.
  4. 4 Listen to what the other person says.
  5. 5 Validate the other person’s feelings.
  6. 6 Respond with the facts.
  7. 7 Use “Yes, and…” in place of “Yes, but…”

How can I speak without sounding defense?

Ways To Communicate Without Being Defensive

  1. Be Secure In Who You Are. You’re less likely to get defensive or hurt over something when you know for sure that it’s not true. …
  2. Stop Retaliating & Genuinely Listen. …
  3. Use “I” Statements. …
  4. Think Long-Term Instead Of Short-Term. …
  5. Learn How To Receive Criticism. …
  6. It’s OK To Be Wrong.

How do I become less defensive aggressive?

To reduce defensive responses, avoid personal triggers, maintain awareness of tone and body language, and know when to step away from a heated interaction.

What to say to defend yourself?

For example, you might say, “Stop blaming me for something I had nothing to do with” or “I had no control over what happened. It’s not fair or right to blame me for it.” You can also respond with “I’m very sorry that things turned out the way they did, but it’s fair to put all the blame on me.”

Is there a difference between defending yourself and being defensive?

Being defensive is about keeping people out (and guarding yourself about the information they are giving you), while setting boundaries is about taking the information in and protecting yourself—and potentially protecting the relationship from further harm.

How do you politely protect yourself?

How to Defend Yourself Without Being Defensive

  1. 1 Keep calm in the moment.
  2. 2 Wait to respond to the criticism.
  3. 3 Encourage the person to elaborate.
  4. 4 Listen to what the other person says.
  5. 5 Validate the other person’s feelings.
  6. 6 Respond with the facts.
  7. 7 Use “Yes, and…” in place of “Yes, but…”

How do I stand up for myself?

Learn to stand up for yourself in any situation with these 10 simple yet powerful steps.

  1. Practice being transparent and authentic. …
  2. Take small but powerful steps. …
  3. When someone attacks, wait them out. …
  4. Figure out what’s really bothering you. …
  5. Clarify first, without attacking. …
  6. Practice makes perfect. …
  7. Be deliberate.

Why do I get so defensive so easily?

Research has shown that defensiveness in response to wrongdoing is exacerbated by making the wrong doer feel like they’re an outcast. Defensive behaviours are common responses when people feel personally attacked but can undermine our ability to identify problems and find solutions.

What is the root cause of defensiveness?

As you’ve learned, being defensive is a result of feeling ashamed, hurt, guilty, attacked, etc. If a person is feeling this way, responding with further criticism is likely to end only in stonewalling or an argument. Instead, show empathy and concern for the situation that the other person is experiencing.

Why do I always feel so defensive?

Feeling defensive “is a natural self-protection mechanism that we have inside us“, says Dr Kate Renshall, a clinical psychologist based in Sydney. “I think we all get defensive when somebody pushes on something that feels too close to home, or touches on something we already might doubt about ourselves.”

How do you get criticism without becoming defensive?

The next time you receive constructive criticism from your manager or a peer, use this six-step process to handle the encounter with tact and grace.

  1. Stop Your First Reaction. …
  2. Remember the Benefit of Getting Feedback. …
  3. Listen for Understanding. …
  4. Say Thank You. …
  5. Ask Questions to Deconstruct the Feedback. …
  6. Request Time to Follow Up.

What does being defensive look like?

A defensive person has trouble accepting responsibility for their speech and actions. They have difficulty with constructive criticism and may mistakenly take it as a perceived threat. Anyone can be triggered by a personal issue that causes them to have a defensive reaction.

What are some defensive behaviors?

Defensive behaviors are a group of evolved responses to threat. They include flight, freezing, defensive threat, defensive attack, and risk assessment. The type of defensive behavior elicited in a particular situation depends on features of both the threat and the situation.

What is defensive attitude?

Someone on the defensive is concerned with justifying their actions or words. They have a defensive attitude as they try to protect themselves. If you know that to defend is to protect, you have an idea what defensive means. When a person is acting defensive, they’re trying to protect or justify themselves.

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